I appreciate the accountability you are taking here, and I understand why other commenters—part of a community that has meant so much to so many—are leading with kindness in their responses. But theirs is not the only truth.
As one of your Stanford freshmen who looked up to you throughout my time on campus, who eagerly voted for you for city council, who championed you in conversations with others, I feel deeply betrayed by your actions—which you yourself acknowledge were wrong. I am disappointed that you have run for higher office and put yourself front and center when championing important issues—knowing all the while that this could come out, and that when it did, it would hurt the very causes and communities with which you so prominently associated yourself. You have lost my vote and my confidence. I hope you will consider stepping aside so that progressive issues in Palo Alto and the Bay Area can have a champion they deserve.
Julie, I read about it in Redwood City Pulse today. I admire your courage in making this clear and responsible statement. You have my personal support in a world that can find poly and queer hard to understand.
Julie, as a former student of yours and someone who looked up to you and your career for many years, I was troubled by the allegations that you stated to a student that having a relationship with her was not breaking any rules, but that she should still keep it a secret. You should have recognized at the time how inappropriate and damaging your actions were to the student, the Stanford community, and all the other students who were entrusted to your care. You showed such selfishness in taking advantage of an impressionable young woman who looked up to you, as so many others did. I sincerely hope you will be held to account for your past actions. I think the only way to help everyone move past your actions is to silence your voice as I can no longer listen to you without hearing the cries of those you damaged irreparably.
It will take me some time to sort through my feelings about this. We are all flawed. That is true. AND there are several reasons I do not want to just let it go at that before saying a few things. Your children and my children are now close in age to those student at the time of the relationship. It makes me feel extra badly about the student and you as a 44 year old person in a position of power. Anytime a person - especially a young one - stewards a secret - that should be a cue that something not right is happening. The fact that this provided excitement for you and your husband drives the point home further, and quite frankly, makes me want to vomit.
You’ve mined your own experience for all of your books and writing. Yet, this revelation only came to light, in your writing, when it HAD to in response to breaking news from the blog post. That’s where the bravery others are talking about falls a bit flat. You were caught.
In mining your experience for your books and writing, you are on the wrong side of privilege. You are Black, endured hideous racism at the institutions of higher learning you attended and in the earlier grades at school. But you also have had intellectual, financial and all of the privileges that come from a position of power in several contexts. You made this student, half your age feel special. She struggled while your success has gone on.
These are the things I am struggling with as a person who admires you and now feels betrayed.
What an echo chamber here. Julie, as I told you privately, you violated an all-important line between university mentors and undergrads. Everyone here applauding Julie—you clearly weren’t one of her students, clearly haven’t taken a step back to see how she buried this (with Stanford) in order to build more power and glow around her name, clearly don’t know the young woman she groomed. I haven’t talked to a single Stanford Sierra Camp, frosh Council, Bing school, or university friend who doesn’t feel the same way. You have to know the type of influence she cultivated, and yes, a 44 year old in power CAN groom a 22 year old. Stanford reunion this fall will only underscore the widespread feeling of betrayal around the recent revelations and how they were covered up.
Your work rings false in the face of this gigantic moral lapse. You plowed ahead with your brand as mom/young adult mentorship expert knowing what happened, and lied to voters like me via omission. I wish you no harm. I think you need to step down. I hope you don’t continue to profit from the expert image we now know isn’t close to reality.
Unsubscribing from this community after coming to terms with the candidate, author, and leader I wrongly supported, especially after reading the bizarre effusive support below.
At Stanford, your job was shepherding young adults through that critical transition period from childhood to adulthood. So you should have know better than anybody what harm you could be causing by entering a relationship like this, even though this was a relationship between consenting adults. After all, you went on to write the book on the topic, and continued to build a career on the premise of better preparing malleable young adults for life. Shocking judgment and hypocrisy. Just so sad.
That’s how I feel. It’s all so sad. I was really struck by the moment in Julie’s statement where she says they expressed love for each other and it should have stopped there. Julie, it never should have even come NEAR that point. Our young people deserve so much better!
I read this this morning in the PA Weekly. It was unsettling for many reasons but primarily because you give so much of yourself to this community and this will make life more complicated and difficult.
Social media is vicious in my opinion . I want to “ mommy bear “and protect you but know fully well you are large and in charge of your life and will weather this storm. Sending you love .
This was so damn refreshing. Accountability. It is missing all over the place and here it is. Thank you for your words and actions after the facts. You are a role model to many - take good care.
While I struggle with the issue of power dynamics in this situation for general and personal reasons, the fact that you openly acknowledge and admit your error in judgment is a refreshing change from the denials that usually happen on these situations. Brian Stevenson reminds is that we are not the worst thong we have ever done.” There is room for atonement and growth, and possibly forgiveness.
I read your response letter this morning and all I could think was your response was perfect. Each sentence you wrote was honest and an example of deep listening as well as peaceful and heart-felt reflections of your past actions. A public apology was the right thing to do. You are blessed with a strong supportive family as well as the support from us readers.
I can only echo what others have said. We are all flawed humans, whose mistakes range from trivial typos to actions that hurt and disappoint those we care about. Some of us learn and grow and do our best to make amends. Some of us make the same mistakes over and over again. Some of us do both. You are brave and honest and a force for good in the world. Thank you for giving so many a space to aspire to the same.
Julie, I read the article, I watched the You Tube video and I gotta say, the woman has no conscience. The biggest mistake you made was falling for a Borderline. Stay strong. She's ill. This too shall pass.
We all make mistakes. Not everyone chooses to be honest , to apologize and work to make amends. My admiration for you remains unchanged and I wish you and your family strength in this challenging moment.
When you make a choice you change the future. While that future may feel like it has arrived, you are still making choices to change the future. Seek comfort from your family and friends to give you the strength to handle this storm. Thank you for your forthrightness and for giving space to those around you to absorb this news. You are human and humane - that is a blessing for those who know you.
I appreciate the accountability you are taking here, and I understand why other commenters—part of a community that has meant so much to so many—are leading with kindness in their responses. But theirs is not the only truth.
As one of your Stanford freshmen who looked up to you throughout my time on campus, who eagerly voted for you for city council, who championed you in conversations with others, I feel deeply betrayed by your actions—which you yourself acknowledge were wrong. I am disappointed that you have run for higher office and put yourself front and center when championing important issues—knowing all the while that this could come out, and that when it did, it would hurt the very causes and communities with which you so prominently associated yourself. You have lost my vote and my confidence. I hope you will consider stepping aside so that progressive issues in Palo Alto and the Bay Area can have a champion they deserve.
Julie, I read about it in Redwood City Pulse today. I admire your courage in making this clear and responsible statement. You have my personal support in a world that can find poly and queer hard to understand.
Thank you for your kind words, Cathy.
Julie, as a former student of yours and someone who looked up to you and your career for many years, I was troubled by the allegations that you stated to a student that having a relationship with her was not breaking any rules, but that she should still keep it a secret. You should have recognized at the time how inappropriate and damaging your actions were to the student, the Stanford community, and all the other students who were entrusted to your care. You showed such selfishness in taking advantage of an impressionable young woman who looked up to you, as so many others did. I sincerely hope you will be held to account for your past actions. I think the only way to help everyone move past your actions is to silence your voice as I can no longer listen to you without hearing the cries of those you damaged irreparably.
It will take me some time to sort through my feelings about this. We are all flawed. That is true. AND there are several reasons I do not want to just let it go at that before saying a few things. Your children and my children are now close in age to those student at the time of the relationship. It makes me feel extra badly about the student and you as a 44 year old person in a position of power. Anytime a person - especially a young one - stewards a secret - that should be a cue that something not right is happening. The fact that this provided excitement for you and your husband drives the point home further, and quite frankly, makes me want to vomit.
You’ve mined your own experience for all of your books and writing. Yet, this revelation only came to light, in your writing, when it HAD to in response to breaking news from the blog post. That’s where the bravery others are talking about falls a bit flat. You were caught.
In mining your experience for your books and writing, you are on the wrong side of privilege. You are Black, endured hideous racism at the institutions of higher learning you attended and in the earlier grades at school. But you also have had intellectual, financial and all of the privileges that come from a position of power in several contexts. You made this student, half your age feel special. She struggled while your success has gone on.
These are the things I am struggling with as a person who admires you and now feels betrayed.
What an echo chamber here. Julie, as I told you privately, you violated an all-important line between university mentors and undergrads. Everyone here applauding Julie—you clearly weren’t one of her students, clearly haven’t taken a step back to see how she buried this (with Stanford) in order to build more power and glow around her name, clearly don’t know the young woman she groomed. I haven’t talked to a single Stanford Sierra Camp, frosh Council, Bing school, or university friend who doesn’t feel the same way. You have to know the type of influence she cultivated, and yes, a 44 year old in power CAN groom a 22 year old. Stanford reunion this fall will only underscore the widespread feeling of betrayal around the recent revelations and how they were covered up.
Your work rings false in the face of this gigantic moral lapse. You plowed ahead with your brand as mom/young adult mentorship expert knowing what happened, and lied to voters like me via omission. I wish you no harm. I think you need to step down. I hope you don’t continue to profit from the expert image we now know isn’t close to reality.
Unsubscribing from this community after coming to terms with the candidate, author, and leader I wrongly supported, especially after reading the bizarre effusive support below.
At Stanford, your job was shepherding young adults through that critical transition period from childhood to adulthood. So you should have know better than anybody what harm you could be causing by entering a relationship like this, even though this was a relationship between consenting adults. After all, you went on to write the book on the topic, and continued to build a career on the premise of better preparing malleable young adults for life. Shocking judgment and hypocrisy. Just so sad.
That’s how I feel. It’s all so sad. I was really struck by the moment in Julie’s statement where she says they expressed love for each other and it should have stopped there. Julie, it never should have even come NEAR that point. Our young people deserve so much better!
I read this this morning in the PA Weekly. It was unsettling for many reasons but primarily because you give so much of yourself to this community and this will make life more complicated and difficult.
Social media is vicious in my opinion . I want to “ mommy bear “and protect you but know fully well you are large and in charge of your life and will weather this storm. Sending you love .
This was so damn refreshing. Accountability. It is missing all over the place and here it is. Thank you for your words and actions after the facts. You are a role model to many - take good care.
Keep your head up Julie. People can be so unkind. Your honesty and vulnerability are commendable.
While I struggle with the issue of power dynamics in this situation for general and personal reasons, the fact that you openly acknowledge and admit your error in judgment is a refreshing change from the denials that usually happen on these situations. Brian Stevenson reminds is that we are not the worst thong we have ever done.” There is room for atonement and growth, and possibly forgiveness.
I read your response letter this morning and all I could think was your response was perfect. Each sentence you wrote was honest and an example of deep listening as well as peaceful and heart-felt reflections of your past actions. A public apology was the right thing to do. You are blessed with a strong supportive family as well as the support from us readers.
Thank you for your courage. Owning up to our mistakes is not easy.
Julie, I've always admired you and still do.
Penny
I can only echo what others have said. We are all flawed humans, whose mistakes range from trivial typos to actions that hurt and disappoint those we care about. Some of us learn and grow and do our best to make amends. Some of us make the same mistakes over and over again. Some of us do both. You are brave and honest and a force for good in the world. Thank you for giving so many a space to aspire to the same.
Julie, I read the article, I watched the You Tube video and I gotta say, the woman has no conscience. The biggest mistake you made was falling for a Borderline. Stay strong. She's ill. This too shall pass.
We all make mistakes. Not everyone chooses to be honest , to apologize and work to make amends. My admiration for you remains unchanged and I wish you and your family strength in this challenging moment.
When you make a choice you change the future. While that future may feel like it has arrived, you are still making choices to change the future. Seek comfort from your family and friends to give you the strength to handle this storm. Thank you for your forthrightness and for giving space to those around you to absorb this news. You are human and humane - that is a blessing for those who know you.