Growing up, words ran like a stock market ticker tape through the halls of our home. We were a family of extroverts whose opinions and feelings would not be contained. We were left-brained and right and trained to be astute and profound. Language was the ultimate throw down.
Your post shined a light on why my husband turns everything into a competition for himself (which, my the way, drives me nuts because nothing is enjoyed in my mind when it's a competition after seven decades of living); it never occurred to me that this was love to him. Thank you for your insight.
It actually came up last night - brought up by him. So, I mirrored your thoughts to him about it beingn his love language and that helped him talk through some things I did not know about from his childhood. He says he is a ever evolving guy and I see that, with progress in fits and starts as we humans are prone to working. It was a better conversation than we would have had had you just not posted this daily dose. Thanks for the help.
Interesting to think about, Julie. While I consider myself as more cooperative than competitive, I do have a competitive streak. We played games a lot in my family, board games and card games. My parents were somewhat detached, but when we played games, it felt like we were connected. Through the years, whatever the emotional scars we carried, we could still sit down and play a game. I’ve been playing one card game (Oh, Hell) for over 60 years. It was one of the first clear signs of my mother’s increasing dementia when she could no longer understand how to play a game she’d been playing since she was a child. When we get together, my brother, sister, and I, we still pull out the deck of cards (now with jumbo print). I no longer care so much who wins, I just like being together.
beautiful Teri. thanks for bringing this to the conversation. i hear you on the sadness of seeing the familiar game become unfamiliar to a family member, and on the enjoyment evoked almost by rote by simply pulling out the cards when you're with your siblings.
As a super competitive person, I also married a non-competitive partner! He is love itself. But he especially excels at things I'm especially not good at, so it actually kind of calls for the masochistic side of me, I think!?
Overall, I'm competitive because my upbringing environments rewarded only the winners.. It took years to unlearn that and relearn that winning and my worth as a human being are two separate things.
Your post shined a light on why my husband turns everything into a competition for himself (which, my the way, drives me nuts because nothing is enjoyed in my mind when it's a competition after seven decades of living); it never occurred to me that this was love to him. Thank you for your insight.
wow i love this. do let us know if you decide to let him in on this insight either explicitly or tacitly!
It actually came up last night - brought up by him. So, I mirrored your thoughts to him about it beingn his love language and that helped him talk through some things I did not know about from his childhood. He says he is a ever evolving guy and I see that, with progress in fits and starts as we humans are prone to working. It was a better conversation than we would have had had you just not posted this daily dose. Thanks for the help.
Interesting to think about, Julie. While I consider myself as more cooperative than competitive, I do have a competitive streak. We played games a lot in my family, board games and card games. My parents were somewhat detached, but when we played games, it felt like we were connected. Through the years, whatever the emotional scars we carried, we could still sit down and play a game. I’ve been playing one card game (Oh, Hell) for over 60 years. It was one of the first clear signs of my mother’s increasing dementia when she could no longer understand how to play a game she’d been playing since she was a child. When we get together, my brother, sister, and I, we still pull out the deck of cards (now with jumbo print). I no longer care so much who wins, I just like being together.
beautiful Teri. thanks for bringing this to the conversation. i hear you on the sadness of seeing the familiar game become unfamiliar to a family member, and on the enjoyment evoked almost by rote by simply pulling out the cards when you're with your siblings.
Wonderful insights! Definitely worth thinking about.
glad you enjoyed, Anne!
as a non competitive person/artist, that was beautiful.
thank you Marcy
As a super competitive person, I also married a non-competitive partner! He is love itself. But he especially excels at things I'm especially not good at, so it actually kind of calls for the masochistic side of me, I think!?
Overall, I'm competitive because my upbringing environments rewarded only the winners.. It took years to unlearn that and relearn that winning and my worth as a human being are two separate things.
I hear that and I feel that. Thanks for sharing!