39 Comments
User's avatar
Rachel Zahn's avatar

Julie, that was beautifully and vulnerably said. I'm sorry that anyone could be offended by any part of it.

As an American Jew with family and friends in Israel, who has spent much time there -- AND in the Palestinian West Bank, I will say I am not okay. The kibbutz I visited on the Gaza border in February, Kfar Aza, has been obliterated by Hamas, with most residents -- lovely, peace-seeking folks, many of them babies -- killed or abducted. No words of condemnation are adequate. The Jewish world is anything BUT okay today.

And yet the time I spent in Hebron, a once quiet, industrious Palestinian village where rightful land owners are now terrorized by ultra-right Jewish settlers who claim god-given rights to all the land, was horrifying as well. Families are barricaded in their homes, not permitted to walk on the streets that once held thriving shops and community. They live in a state of desperation without hope or leadership to represent them.

There is no justification for the horrific actions of Hamas. None. But until we're honest about the undeniable results of occupation and -- yes -- apartheid, we will never be safe. We will never live in peace. Not Jews, not Palestinians, none of us.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

thank you for shedding further light on the communities there, Rachel. i appreciate you. Like you, I want us ALL to live in peace. sending love.

Expand full comment
M. E. Rothwell's avatar

While I agree with the overall loving spirit of your article, you have quoted a common myth that often crops up when discussing the creation of the modern state of Israel. The British did not create the state, in fact they weren’t in favour of either a Jewish or an Arab state, as they were worried about what that might do to their oil interests in the region.

In fact, there was a UN vote on a partition of the British Protectorate of Palestine into two states - an Arab Muslim state and Jewish state. Under the resolution, the area of religious significance surrounding Jerusalem would remain a corpus separatum under international control administered by the United Nations.

The vote passed in May 1947 and was due to come into effect after the British rule was scheduled to end in May 1948. On the last day of the British mandate, David Ben-Gurion and co declared the independence of the new state of Israel. The Arab state of Palestine mandated by the same UN vote was never created because the Palestinian Arabs, Lebanon, Egypt, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, and Iraq invaded Israel the very same day.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

thank you for this, ME. I've updated the article to reflect that it was a UN decision not a British decision.

Expand full comment
Inna's avatar

Thank you for correcting this. I want to like your comment over and over again. This, and the idea that the Jews are the colonizers in the area is so preposterous.

Expand full comment
Tracey's avatar

Thank you for writing the words in my heart. This is written with such care and love. Such a well done and thoughtful piece. I have shared it with many close friends and family.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

thank you Tracey. my perspective is not perfect, and i am sad that some continue to be offended by my words because they feel that now is an inappropriate time to speak about the plight of the Palestinian people. i am also simply trying to demonstrate that we actually do better (i feel) when we try to speak on things, try to be in dialogue, and refuse to allow complex issues to be "black and white" (so to speak).

Expand full comment
Joel's avatar

Thank you for taking the time to write this and share it with the community. It is beautifully written. Like you, in many ways I have felt somewhat conflicted by what is happening in Israel and Gaza. I also understand it is the byproduct of centuries of hatred, colonization, and religious-based us-vs-them tribalism. As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, used to multiple racial and religious groups campaigning against my civil rights, I feel for both the Israelis and the Palestinians. Ultimately, I am for peace, love, inclusion, and respect. This week our students are off for break, but your works have given me some strength and wisdom for leading a diverse, California school community with both Jewish and Muslim students when school resumes next week. Thank you.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

thank you joel. and thanks for the work you do with young people. good luck to you in the endeavor to help them process, listen, and develop understanding.

Expand full comment
Eileen Miller's avatar

I appreciate what you've written. I'd like to add this, regarding more recent developments. This was taken from a friend's feed. She is vastly more knowledgeable than I am, but I also know these truths to be true. I know this goes back WAY FURTHER, but in my mind the terrorism is coming one way and the defense is happening the other way.

When you hear about the occupation of Gaza, know it’s a lie. Israel withdrew its settlements and military in 2005. Hamas was elected in 2006 and started a stranglehold on the area. Their violence against Israel led to the blockade (by Egypt too). Tens of thousands of Palestinians cross into Israel daily. Israel provides basic needs and humanitarian goods. They are repaid with constant and indiscriminate missiles, kites with incendiary devices to destroy crops and homes, and Saturday’s massacres.

Elections have consequences. The Palestinians who have suffered under Hamas deserved better, but when you elect a terror organization, bad things happen.

Facts matter.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Thanks Eileen. I appreciate you. I know there's far more to it than one knows, particualrly without being there/living it. Also, I hear the opposite of what you're saying from Palestinians. There are facts and also beliefs that make us see the same thing differently. This is one of the hardest things about being human, to me.

Expand full comment
Cindy Heyer Carroll's avatar

I’m so grateful for your words, Julie, for articulating a brief history, for pointing out that Hamas is not all Palestinians and not all Palestinians are in Hamas, and most of all for the excruciating attempt to hold both Jews and Palestinians in your heart simultaneously. It’s breaking my heart, but I’m trying too.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Thanks Cindy. Holding space in our hearts and spirits and brains for dual or seemingly opposed things is hard to do. But I think we are evolved enough to handle the complexity.

Expand full comment
Emmanuelle's avatar

Thank you Julie for your brave, vulnerable, compassionate words. With you, I stand for empathy, for humankind, and for love.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

thank you Emmanuelle 🙏🏽

Expand full comment
Marcy Voyevod's avatar

thank you for your beautiful writing. i also believe we should always stand for peace. i can’t believe that with all the “natural” disasters that are killing people and destroying cities that people are still killing each other over land, religion, colonization etc. i stand for peace.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

thank you Marcy. I stand for peace too. and it's easy to say that and write that and be for that. the far harder work is taken up by those who actually have to solve these problems and create the policies and agreements and recompense. the world needs strong moral leadership right now. i highlighted Sen. Cory Booker at the end because I see him as a such a light.

Expand full comment
Cathy's avatar

Thank you for the bravery to say this and for shedding a little more light onto what I know about this situation (which is less than you and yes I saw your caveats). Thank you for identifying the part you have been told is offensive. Thank you for the resources you offer and the quote from Cory Booker.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Thanks Cathy.

Expand full comment
Sri Juneja's avatar

Wow, Julie. It feels like you snuck inside my head and plucked the words out. Thank you for voicing so eloquently what I have struggled to articulate.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

I'm glad to know my attempt to think this through and put words on a page resonated with you, Sri. Thanks.

Expand full comment
Julie Gabrielli's avatar

Thank you for articulating this so clearly and with compassion. I feel the same. I keep thinking -- and I know it’s an oversimplification, but -- if more women ran things maybe these escalations into senseless violence and retribution would be rare. We aren’t as swayed by power or revenge. Our reverence for life is wired differently. Empathy comes more naturally to us. Again, #notallmen but it’s a refrain I keep hearing in my heart. It’s time.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Julie I agree that there's a lot to be said for female leadership. something about being the ones who bring life into the world means we seek to sustain it rather than harm or end it. Religious pronouncements that seek to keep women back are afraid of our power, I feel.

Expand full comment
Renee PONTBRIAND's avatar

Amen & thank you.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Thanks Renee

Expand full comment
Allison's avatar

Thank you

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Thanks 🙏🏽

Expand full comment
Michelle Spencer (she/her)'s avatar

I read this from PBS today https://www.npr.org/2023/10/10/1204826544/hamas-israel-war-gaza-palestinian and this from The Conversation https://theconversation.com/the-gaza-strip-why-the-history-of-the-densely-populated-enclave-is-key-to-understanding-the-current-conflict-215306 and a friend reposted this from Ori Hansen Weisberg https://www.facebook.com/100005847161353/posts/pfbid02xCctvxwty2F88vV2QHHtiQbsUDdFyZQjE2FeGUVYmeVyUMDbJG7AwTbV3Y6NH9spl/?mibextid=cr9u03

Horrors begetting horrors, and how can we, in comfort and safety, as those experiencing it to let go of hate? Bit how else will it end?

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Thanks for sharing these posts, Michelle. For those of us in the privilege of comfort and safety, it's easy to have opinions. Those who have to create the polices and agreements and recompense have an incredibly challenging job. Moral leadership is desperately needed.

Expand full comment
Oliver Radclyffe's avatar

Thank you for this, Julie

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Thanks my friend

Expand full comment
Jackie Rothstein's avatar

Thank you for sharing this.

Expand full comment
Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Thanks Jackie

Expand full comment