I just went and looked at our marriage license/certificate because my husband is adopted. His adoptive parents were the only names on the license.
So it’s even stranger…was the person raised by a single father only, adoptive or birth? For someone who’s an adult today that would mean a pretty unusual circumstance back when they were a kid. What a mystery!
I love that this prompted you to go on that search. I have NO idea what it means! Total mystery. And to have it all be put before him on his wedding day. Oh the humanity.
Btw: I only ordered a copy of our marriage certificate in 2022 (got married in 2007). I never changed my name legally, but we needed it because we finally made wills and a trust. (Since women and name documentation is all in the news due to the misleadingly named SAVE act.)
I was adopted at birth. It was a private adoption so on my birth certificate the names of my adoptive parents occupy all the pertinent spots. Even so, they told me from birth that I was adopted - so, no surprises. Fast forward 16 years. I had just returned from volunteering in the Dominican Republic and re-entry culture shock was hitting hard when my parents presented me with a letter from my birth mother. WHAT??? The way I was adopted, this shouldn't have happened. She had always known where I was, but worried that she could perhaps lose track of me if I left home young. It was quite a journey. The parents who raised my on campus vs. the hippy mom living on a commune. Those were interesting trips.
In any case, not even knowing the name. I get that. I didn't either until I was 16.
Oh, Julie! There you go again, making my eyes leak. Thank you for sharing this experience and describing it in such vivid detail that I felt like I was with you every step of the way. I'm sending my energetic congratulations to this couple, as well. May they be happy for many years to come.
This resonated deeply because I learned at the age of 50 that the father's name listed on my birth certificate wasn't my biological father. He was the man to whom my mom was married and divorced as soon as he got home from Korea when I was eight-months-old. Mom thought the only person who knew he wasn't my father was her sister, but I wonder if others knew. At least I have a name, Johnny Brown. He was stationed nearby in the Air Force when they happened to be at to the same dance. Mom knew nothing about him, not his hometown not his legal name, not his siblings--nothing except that he was a good dancer...the criteria by which she chose to live with 5 men throughout my lifetime, several of whom I called "Daddy", though I would later learn she had never married them. And amazingly, she had two pictures of Johnny Brown which I keep in my desk drawer so I see them often, and I know that both of my kids and I have his smile.
What a beautiful, poignant moment you witnessed, Julie! You (as usual) put it into words brilliantly. I lost my mom when I was 9 years old…but to never have known her or her name-unthinkably sad.
I just went and looked at our marriage license/certificate because my husband is adopted. His adoptive parents were the only names on the license.
So it’s even stranger…was the person raised by a single father only, adoptive or birth? For someone who’s an adult today that would mean a pretty unusual circumstance back when they were a kid. What a mystery!
I love that this prompted you to go on that search. I have NO idea what it means! Total mystery. And to have it all be put before him on his wedding day. Oh the humanity.
Btw: I only ordered a copy of our marriage certificate in 2022 (got married in 2007). I never changed my name legally, but we needed it because we finally made wills and a trust. (Since women and name documentation is all in the news due to the misleadingly named SAVE act.)
SAVE scares me so much. good for you for making wills and a trust!
This was a powerful thing to witness.
I was adopted at birth. It was a private adoption so on my birth certificate the names of my adoptive parents occupy all the pertinent spots. Even so, they told me from birth that I was adopted - so, no surprises. Fast forward 16 years. I had just returned from volunteering in the Dominican Republic and re-entry culture shock was hitting hard when my parents presented me with a letter from my birth mother. WHAT??? The way I was adopted, this shouldn't have happened. She had always known where I was, but worried that she could perhaps lose track of me if I left home young. It was quite a journey. The parents who raised my on campus vs. the hippy mom living on a commune. Those were interesting trips.
In any case, not even knowing the name. I get that. I didn't either until I was 16.
Wow thank you for sharing.
Oh, Julie! There you go again, making my eyes leak. Thank you for sharing this experience and describing it in such vivid detail that I felt like I was with you every step of the way. I'm sending my energetic congratulations to this couple, as well. May they be happy for many years to come.
This resonated deeply because I learned at the age of 50 that the father's name listed on my birth certificate wasn't my biological father. He was the man to whom my mom was married and divorced as soon as he got home from Korea when I was eight-months-old. Mom thought the only person who knew he wasn't my father was her sister, but I wonder if others knew. At least I have a name, Johnny Brown. He was stationed nearby in the Air Force when they happened to be at to the same dance. Mom knew nothing about him, not his hometown not his legal name, not his siblings--nothing except that he was a good dancer...the criteria by which she chose to live with 5 men throughout my lifetime, several of whom I called "Daddy", though I would later learn she had never married them. And amazingly, she had two pictures of Johnny Brown which I keep in my desk drawer so I see them often, and I know that both of my kids and I have his smile.
oh my gosh what a story. i'm so glad you have his smile, and those pictures. thanks also for this glimpse into what your mother was like.
What a beautiful, poignant moment you witnessed, Julie! You (as usual) put it into words brilliantly. I lost my mom when I was 9 years old…but to never have known her or her name-unthinkably sad.
I'm sorry you lost her so young Lori. Thanks for sharing that, as well as your compassion for the guy who never knew (until two weeks ago!)