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Lisa S's avatar

Julie, as a friend of yours in real life, and one who has spent some time with you in a group, this column really made me smile. I’m as introverted as they come so I believe I bring a bit of expertise to this issue. So much of what you said is right on, especially the part about needing extra time to formulate our thoughts and convert them into spoken words, but I think I speak for many of us when I say we are drawn to wonderful extroverts like you because we don’t really want a full share of the pie. I love it when someone whose views I respect assumes a bigger part of the burden of keeping a conversation going.

I would hate to see you rein yourself in too much (although I don’t see that as likely😉)

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

There's a role for all of us my friend.

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Jenn G's avatar

Yes to all of this! I love your strategies -- having some concrete things to do (more than simply telling myself to talk less/let others speak) is incredibly helpful. Thank you from an enthusiastic extrovert who continuously works on giving space (and pizza)!

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Glad it's helpful 👊🏽

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Rochelle Sanchez (she/her)'s avatar

As an introvert and pizza lover, thank you for this!

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

You're so welcome 🍕

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Claudette's avatar

🤭🤗 I think I wanted another piece of pizza!😟

Thanks for the reminders.

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Me too. We just gotta be a little better at sharing 🍕

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Diane's avatar

Julie, I love this in general, and more specifically, just yesterday, I went into a new group (a book club of all things!) and told myself what I often have to: Diane, don't talk too much, don't make it about you (even though in making it about "me" I'm wanting to connect to relate to connect). I like your distinction between "shy" and "introvert."

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Love it. Great to hear from you!

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Megan's avatar

In the real world, I am the introvertiest introvert that ever introverted. My students, however, see me as an extrovert, partially because I leap to fill dead air in the classroom. My department chair, who observes me on the regular, has mentioned it often, always reminding me that some students need time to formulate their answers. I really like the 10-second rule and will try to add that to my pedagogic repertoire this year. Thanks, Jules!

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