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Megan's avatar

Thank you for this. I don’t have hair loss or an autoimmune disease, but I (and my friends) are starting to notice our bodies changing in unfamiliar and not necessarily welcome ways. We’ve shared how hard it is - how we struggle with changes that we feel shouldn’t bother us, that we don’t want to bother us - but that inevitably do. We feel ashamed that we are self-conscious. We no longer know what skin products to use, where to shop for clothes, or how to feel beautiful when everything around us tells us we are now irrelevant and unworthy. We are grateful beyond measure for our health and quietly unsure of our new bodies and faces. We thought we were age and body positive. But acceptance of our thinner hair, falling faces, crepey skin, bigger midsections, drooping breasts, and gray hair is slower than any of us want to admit. We thought we were past all this. That we would just accept the changes without caring - we’re feminists after all. But we’re realizing it’s a little harder than that. So we keep reminding each other of our beauty.

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

beautiful reflection. it's like you're in a room with a whole bunch of people and the lights go out all of a sudden and you're like wait where's my purse, where are my keys, and you wonder if you're alone in the room because no one even remembered you were even there.

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Megan's avatar

Yes! Exactly. Thank you for this apt metaphor. It’s exactly like this. It’s gradual, then all at once.

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

except we ARE all there together; we just need to feel super bold and empowered to talk about all of it. like you and I are right now! sending love. and a hug! 🤗

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Megan's avatar

Yes! Thank you for bringing it to the light. Sending love and hugs back at you 🥰

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Kerry's avatar

You are beautiful and will continue to be beautiful with hair, or without.

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

😊 thank you

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Cindy Faatz's avatar

Hi Julie - I'm a fellow Alopecian and have been for years. If there's anything that would be helpful for me to pass along or if you just want to chat, let me know. Sending good hair thoughts (and other good thoughts :-) ) your way!

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Thank you 🙏🏽

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Zoe Li's avatar

I am Zoe; we met at an event at Northwestern University, and I am currently reading your book. You have no idea how surprised I was when I saw your post. WE ARE EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING. I discovered that I had alopecia during finals, just three weeks ago, at a time when I thought I was in my best state - I would go straight to school as soon as I woke up every day, and when I couldn't focus, I would go running with my graduate friends. This routine lasted for two weeks until one night I felt a soft spot on my head, which scared me so much that I couldn't sleep. What was even more terrifying was that the next morning, I found another spot. The same day, I completed three presentations with my alopecia and then told myself that I could allow myself to rest. After finals, I immediately saw a doctor, but I was still very anxious because I didn't know when my hair would grow back. Now, two weeks have passed. Although my hair hasn't grown back yet, I think this is a signal from my body to pay attention to my health. Nowadays, I often forget about my alopecia, but I still hope that our hair will grow back soon. I also really hope that you can recover as well. We must unconditionally accept ourselves.

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

wow you poor thing i'm so sorry. i hope your hair grows back soon! thanks so much for sharing. I hope your finals went well and that whatever you're doing this summer is GOOD FOR YOU!!!! also... awesome that we met when I visited Northwestern. Remind me, are you a ugrad or grad student? did i meet you at the end of the day when I came to that class and lectured? or somewhere else?

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Zoe Li's avatar

I am a master's student at Northwestern University, majoring in machine learning and data science. We met at the end of the day, and you wrote, "This is your one wild and precious life, and I am rooting for you," on the first page of your book, and I posted our selfie on my Instagram. I asked you if it was okay to be a generalist instead of an expert in my field. You encouraged me to be a generalist, not necessarily an expert, which has eased my worries about choosing a career and firmly rooted this belief in my heart. I hope to have the chance to meet you again in the future! Wishing you all the best❤️.

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Zoe I thought that was you!!! yay 🤗 I'm so glad we reconnected. Seriously wishing you the most relaxing and nourishing summer!!

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Claudette's avatar

I’m glad you checked with Dermie to confirm diagnosis.autoimmune diseases call the shots. Our task is to find the way to accept while being large and in charge! Your humor and competitiveness will get through this latest challenge. I love these Julie Pods. Thank you.

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Maria's avatar

I love that you are so real and just lay it all out there! Thank you for modeling vulnerability as it is so essential for building meaningful connections. I recently watched the docuseries on Hulu called The Hair Tales, mostly set in a black hair salon with women sharing openly about all the stories, meaning and importance of their hair, so it makes perfect sense that you are alarmed and concerned even when those around you love you with or without hair. In one of the episodes, one woman shares her journey with alopecia. If you haven't seen the series, you might enjoy it. https://press.hulu.com/shows/the-hair-tales/

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