I love this post, as I do many that you have. I am saddened to hear the reaction you had! And, so I want add two sparks of hope. I am the Director of a small preschool in Denver, Colorado. When I first started there around 15 years ago, often I would overhear children say things like, "you can't marry a boy when you grow up, because boys can't marry boys." Now, I hear children say, "I am going to marry so-and-so, because you can marry whoever you want." Perhaps a small shift, but definitely a shift in understanding that heterosexuality does not have to be the expected or only choice. Additionally, a few summers ago I was eating lunch with a couple of young girls and a young boy--all around age 4. When the boy declared that he wanted to be a mermaid, one girl commented, "boys can't be mermaids." Her friend jumped in and declared, "of course they can! Maybe he's a drag queen." I know these are simplifications of complex circumstances, but I think they both show that there is a growing acceptance that people can be who they want to be. Children are embracing that reality, and they are learning it from adults in their lives. Yes, there is lots of work and we all need to keep fighting for equality, safety, respect, and acceptance of all people--especially those who are bullied, pushed down, and discriminated against by those who hold power over them.
little children know what's up. and i love how frank they are about their beliefs (still not yet shamed by society's view of what's okay to say). thank you so much for sharing. i agree with you that how children are is a reflection of how society will be! and that's what gives me HOPE.
I live in Florida, and I tend to get pretty damn depressed about what is happening here and around our country. But this weekend, a local bookstore (one of my FAVORITE places to visit) owned by a lesbian couple hosted a Pride event, and it helped restore my faith in humankind. I attended the event with two of my friends and our daughters. They are great kids who don’t think about treating people differently because of who they identify as. Unfortunately, due to one of Desantis’ laws, Drag Queen Story Hour was relegated to “Story Hour,” but the event was filled with LGBTQ folks, allies and pets, many in Pride regalia. There was a voter registration table, a climate change organization, a group fighting banned books, and efforts to get female reproductive rights on the ballot. The surrounding businesses joined in and donated baskets for a charity raffle and showed such love and support for the wonderful bookstore owners. In the middle of a flaming red state where people who I thought were open and compassionate are succumbing more and more to judgment and fear, this was a beautiful, joyful oasis.
you see, i just knew this had to be happening and i wanted to hear about it. so THANK YOU for bringing me this visual of your beautiful, joyful oasis. what's the name of the bookstore? i will amplify them on my socials.
glad to know of them and to help amplify their goodness. if you're on social and are comfortable with me tagging you as the neighbor who recommends them, i shall do so (give me your handles if so)
Hi Julie, so very kind of you! I may catch some flack for this, but I’m nervous that amplifying their goodness may attract trolls. I’m not concerned with myself, but would hate for them to have to deal with unsolicited negative attention. 😕
First, I am sorry that you were so hatefully trolled because of your post. As a private citizen, I don’t get much of that because I made a choice to surround myself with mostly like-minded folks on social media. My posting of that same statement was positively received by all. But I worry about friends and family whose real lives are outside our little electronic bubble. I work at a school where one student’s path to how they define their gender is welcomed by all, but also where older students grapple with negative messages they have internalized about gender and sexual orientation.
My hope for change comes from many things, not the least being my 90 year old neighbor who, after going on a homophobic rant in 2007, came to me in 2009 and apologized, “for how I thought, what I said, and how I voted.” He had a change of heart due to many factors, and if a 90 year old man can learn and grow, so can we all.
I am grateful to be surrounded by people who love each other for who they are, not who they are expected to be.
So much ugliness in our world. Thanks for sharing your love and insight. You remind us of how the world should and could look, when we reject the hate. Thank you, Julie.
The energy it takes to spew hate is greater than what it takes to share love. The haters have to be exhausted and we know that exhaustion brings bad choices. I am so sorry you are shouldering this venom as you truly are a voice of love and reason. Education is powerful and you give freely your wisdom and stories. The haters may have been prolific in your feed but they are drowned out by your supporters and the many kind acts of ordinary and generous people who make a difference through their thoughtfulness and who vote. You are a beautiful soul who is needed in this world. Thank you.
Love you, Julie! Whenever I post anything that isn't my golden retriever, or asks people to consider others at least as well as themselves, the "likes" go from a gazillion to like 4, and it makes me soooo angry. (To be clear, I dont give a hoot about likes, but the difference is stark.) I appreciate your candor and vulnerability, and I will keep speaking up in my part of this crazy world, even if it makes some people uncomfortable. As a mom, teacher, and human-in-progress, that's the LEAST I can do!! Your light shines brightly and I appreciate you so very much. Love and light from NC!!
Once again for uplifting the conversation and supporting me to keep my heart and my voice focused on compassion. I agree that there are so many beautiful people doing great work - this week I discovered the Breaking Bias program of Anu Gupta. I shared it with our meditation class today. I incorporated some quotes from Iranian American playwright Sanaz Toossi's play, English. It won this year's Pulitzer for drama. It reminded me immediately of my immigrant mother and grandmother and their struggles. You are a bright light in my day.
Thank you so much for this post. I am heartsick to know that the LGTBG+ community lives in very real fear simply for living in this country. I am also sick about the personal attacks you've endured. I so appreciate you and your work which is so life affirming. As a grandparent, parent and auntie your books and insights concerning education have been so helpful. Stay safe precious human.
catherine there is so much good in this world - it's just that the hateful ones are so LOUD. we've got to be louder. we've got to be more visible. i so appreciate your kind words. and please know that whatever personal attacks happen toward me are small as I am privileged and well-resourced and my identity is in the main not what others are trying to end/change. i'm just trying to open a conduit of compassion toward those who have it far worse and to inspire each of us to try in our own way to be the change we want to see in the world. sending love and hoping your day is filled with light.
Yes, there is so much good in the world. I recently discovered Anu Gupta's Breaking Bias work which I share with our meditation group. I also quoted some lines from Iranian American playwright Sanaz Toossi. Her play, English, won the Pulitzer from drama this year. It reminded me of my immigrant mother and grandmother who struggled with language and also being seen. Returning your love. You are the light in my afternoon!
I'm curious how you identify as queer, when you are married to a man and have two children. Maybe I don't properly understand what the word 'queer' means.
By the way, I wrote to you some time ago that I knew your half-siblings Ruth, George and Michael in Achimota, in Ghana. I was there in 1961-63 - I think they came in 1962. Vivian Hazel Adzaku.
Hi Vivian, very cool that you were at Achimota with my sibs! Yes they came in 1962. My sexual orientation is queer. Specifically, I am bisexual. My marriage looks outwardly heterosexual but there's more to it than meets the eye. I think that's all I'll say here!
I love this post, as I do many that you have. I am saddened to hear the reaction you had! And, so I want add two sparks of hope. I am the Director of a small preschool in Denver, Colorado. When I first started there around 15 years ago, often I would overhear children say things like, "you can't marry a boy when you grow up, because boys can't marry boys." Now, I hear children say, "I am going to marry so-and-so, because you can marry whoever you want." Perhaps a small shift, but definitely a shift in understanding that heterosexuality does not have to be the expected or only choice. Additionally, a few summers ago I was eating lunch with a couple of young girls and a young boy--all around age 4. When the boy declared that he wanted to be a mermaid, one girl commented, "boys can't be mermaids." Her friend jumped in and declared, "of course they can! Maybe he's a drag queen." I know these are simplifications of complex circumstances, but I think they both show that there is a growing acceptance that people can be who they want to be. Children are embracing that reality, and they are learning it from adults in their lives. Yes, there is lots of work and we all need to keep fighting for equality, safety, respect, and acceptance of all people--especially those who are bullied, pushed down, and discriminated against by those who hold power over them.
little children know what's up. and i love how frank they are about their beliefs (still not yet shamed by society's view of what's okay to say). thank you so much for sharing. i agree with you that how children are is a reflection of how society will be! and that's what gives me HOPE.
I live in Florida, and I tend to get pretty damn depressed about what is happening here and around our country. But this weekend, a local bookstore (one of my FAVORITE places to visit) owned by a lesbian couple hosted a Pride event, and it helped restore my faith in humankind. I attended the event with two of my friends and our daughters. They are great kids who don’t think about treating people differently because of who they identify as. Unfortunately, due to one of Desantis’ laws, Drag Queen Story Hour was relegated to “Story Hour,” but the event was filled with LGBTQ folks, allies and pets, many in Pride regalia. There was a voter registration table, a climate change organization, a group fighting banned books, and efforts to get female reproductive rights on the ballot. The surrounding businesses joined in and donated baskets for a charity raffle and showed such love and support for the wonderful bookstore owners. In the middle of a flaming red state where people who I thought were open and compassionate are succumbing more and more to judgment and fear, this was a beautiful, joyful oasis.
you see, i just knew this had to be happening and i wanted to hear about it. so THANK YOU for bringing me this visual of your beautiful, joyful oasis. what's the name of the bookstore? i will amplify them on my socials.
Hello Again Books in Cocoa, Florida. Check out their Facebook page! Just a great vibe, they are such beautiful people!
glad to know of them and to help amplify their goodness. if you're on social and are comfortable with me tagging you as the neighbor who recommends them, i shall do so (give me your handles if so)
Hi Julie, so very kind of you! I may catch some flack for this, but I’m nervous that amplifying their goodness may attract trolls. I’m not concerned with myself, but would hate for them to have to deal with unsolicited negative attention. 😕
I totally get this!
Sending love, hope for kindness, continued strength to fight for what’s right, and all the right emojis to you, Julie
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
all the right emojis. i love that, Liz!
First, I am sorry that you were so hatefully trolled because of your post. As a private citizen, I don’t get much of that because I made a choice to surround myself with mostly like-minded folks on social media. My posting of that same statement was positively received by all. But I worry about friends and family whose real lives are outside our little electronic bubble. I work at a school where one student’s path to how they define their gender is welcomed by all, but also where older students grapple with negative messages they have internalized about gender and sexual orientation.
My hope for change comes from many things, not the least being my 90 year old neighbor who, after going on a homophobic rant in 2007, came to me in 2009 and apologized, “for how I thought, what I said, and how I voted.” He had a change of heart due to many factors, and if a 90 year old man can learn and grow, so can we all.
I am grateful to be surrounded by people who love each other for who they are, not who they are expected to be.
I love the continuing evidence that people are never too old to change!
So much ugliness in our world. Thanks for sharing your love and insight. You remind us of how the world should and could look, when we reject the hate. Thank you, Julie.
Such a kind thing to say Cynthia. Hope your day is filled with light. Julie
The energy it takes to spew hate is greater than what it takes to share love. The haters have to be exhausted and we know that exhaustion brings bad choices. I am so sorry you are shouldering this venom as you truly are a voice of love and reason. Education is powerful and you give freely your wisdom and stories. The haters may have been prolific in your feed but they are drowned out by your supporters and the many kind acts of ordinary and generous people who make a difference through their thoughtfulness and who vote. You are a beautiful soul who is needed in this world. Thank you.
So kind of you Mary. Thank you.
Love you, Julie! Whenever I post anything that isn't my golden retriever, or asks people to consider others at least as well as themselves, the "likes" go from a gazillion to like 4, and it makes me soooo angry. (To be clear, I dont give a hoot about likes, but the difference is stark.) I appreciate your candor and vulnerability, and I will keep speaking up in my part of this crazy world, even if it makes some people uncomfortable. As a mom, teacher, and human-in-progress, that's the LEAST I can do!! Your light shines brightly and I appreciate you so very much. Love and light from NC!!
xo,
Joan
Keep shining that light in NC, Joan!
Thanks-that explains it for me!
Wow. Julie. I didn't read the comments last time and missed all that. I am sorry to that hate spewed forth, and grateful for what you've written here.
It was like the trolls all got tipped off about my Facebook post. It sucked. But I was glad for the eye-opening.
Once again for uplifting the conversation and supporting me to keep my heart and my voice focused on compassion. I agree that there are so many beautiful people doing great work - this week I discovered the Breaking Bias program of Anu Gupta. I shared it with our meditation class today. I incorporated some quotes from Iranian American playwright Sanaz Toossi's play, English. It won this year's Pulitzer for drama. It reminded me immediately of my immigrant mother and grandmother and their struggles. You are a bright light in my day.
thank you for sharing the Breaking Bias program. and thanks also for your kind words <3
This is an amazing pod. Thanks Julie!
For me it is very personal. I have family members, who are LGBQTIA+ and my closest friends, also.
Cannot understand the hate!
Thank you!
Susan Charles
when it's personal we fight like hell, right? cuz we have to. sending love Susan. and thank you.
Thank you so much for this post. I am heartsick to know that the LGTBG+ community lives in very real fear simply for living in this country. I am also sick about the personal attacks you've endured. I so appreciate you and your work which is so life affirming. As a grandparent, parent and auntie your books and insights concerning education have been so helpful. Stay safe precious human.
catherine there is so much good in this world - it's just that the hateful ones are so LOUD. we've got to be louder. we've got to be more visible. i so appreciate your kind words. and please know that whatever personal attacks happen toward me are small as I am privileged and well-resourced and my identity is in the main not what others are trying to end/change. i'm just trying to open a conduit of compassion toward those who have it far worse and to inspire each of us to try in our own way to be the change we want to see in the world. sending love and hoping your day is filled with light.
Yes, there is so much good in the world. I recently discovered Anu Gupta's Breaking Bias work which I share with our meditation group. I also quoted some lines from Iranian American playwright Sanaz Toossi. Her play, English, won the Pulitzer from drama this year. It reminded me of my immigrant mother and grandmother who struggled with language and also being seen. Returning your love. You are the light in my afternoon!
I'm curious how you identify as queer, when you are married to a man and have two children. Maybe I don't properly understand what the word 'queer' means.
By the way, I wrote to you some time ago that I knew your half-siblings Ruth, George and Michael in Achimota, in Ghana. I was there in 1961-63 - I think they came in 1962. Vivian Hazel Adzaku.
Hi Vivian, very cool that you were at Achimota with my sibs! Yes they came in 1962. My sexual orientation is queer. Specifically, I am bisexual. My marriage looks outwardly heterosexual but there's more to it than meets the eye. I think that's all I'll say here!