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Beth's avatar

I love this! My 4th grade class and I howled good night to the coyotes on our overnight. I am pretty sure my family has howled, meowed and barked for each other more than once. Often though, it’s also punchlines from family jokes!

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

I love it! The students and your family alike!

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Mary Indritz's avatar

No wonder the wolf howl is so lonely and eerie - they are just connecting through space rather than forlongly filling the night. I certainly feel different listening to them than I do listening to great horned owls hoot to each other. This was a good lesson, Julie.

The kids loved the song "Four Hugs a Day" (not the maximum, just the minimum) so when I write to them (no, letters do not return to me but write I do) or email I end with xoxoxoxo. It also works with text signoffs.

The little "family-shared moments" are precious and binding, even when outgrown. Some remain constant and some unspoken. I trust they know we are here and they are always welcome for the day or as their port in the storm when things go terribly unplanned. It's the little things that create a shared history and a lifelong thread to each other. Thanks for the reminder to howl.

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

And when the kids were little instead of "not the maximum" they said "not the whack someone"! We all sing it that way to this day

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Mary Indritz's avatar

Oh, that's a laugh out loud and so very true!

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

Our family loves that four hugs a day song too, thanks for the memory!

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Paula Salinger's avatar

I grew up in a town with "cheeseburger" birds (Chickadees, but that's what everyone in town called them). When we started hiking as a family (and with other families with young kids) we would use the "cheeseburger" bird call if we couldn't see someone and they would call back. We still do it even though all the kids are adults.

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

I love it!

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Jeanette Miller's avatar

I love this so much. My housemate who is home all day and I say "buddy." We are typically at opposite ends of the house all day so if he goes to the laundry room, he says "buddy" and I respond likewise. When I come in from being out of the house, I say "buddy" from the kitchen and hear him respond. The tone and tenor of the "buddy" often indicates mood and whether or not one of us is interested in more conversation at that moment. It's become a touchstone for me in the last year+.

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Jeanette Miller's avatar

I had a friend in college who would use the crow call. "Cacaw." so every time we saw each other, even at a distance on campus we would Cacaw. In the dining hall, when we walked by dorm room doors or windows, etc. It was the best. Like an "I see you."

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

i love both of these. and i have an update on mine. whereas i used to initiate and the guys would respond, now the guys are initiating. i feel like we've got our own little pack now!

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Chris Angelli's avatar

I grew up on a street that had about 6 large families on it. One of the older "aunties" on the street used to take the tribe of us (generally anywhere between 7-15 kids at a time) on outings - to Red Sox games, to the local woods, to the beach. In retrospect, I think it was to give the moms a break. Anyway, she would take us and let us run feral and when she was ready to leave or if someone got lost, she'd do the Carter Road call. And we would echo it back and round up.

As we all grew up and had kids, we taught them the call. I can do that yell anywhere and my kids will respond. As will all of the kids of the kids I grew up with. It's kinda cool and heartwarming. And kinda like finding our pack.

Thanks for making me think of this!

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

My god I love that

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Diane Friis's avatar

I just LOVE this. Our family howls from time to time. I did not that we were actually howling FOR each other. (Most times it’s in the car with the windows down driving through a tunnel). We are getting together at our family’s favorite remote campsite this weekend. Through busy schedules and college, we have managed to get together there every year for the past 19 years! I think I am going to introduce the family howl this weekend. Thank you for sharing this❤️

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

you had me at "our family howls from time to time."

and good lord i love that you might do it while camping!!! you have to report back!!

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Diane Friis's avatar

Will do.

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Diane Friis's avatar

It was a wonderful long weekend with my grown children. Our youngest brought his significant other. It was her first wilderness experience. We have been Forest bathing since way before we became aware of the term. She embraced it full force. I presented the concept of the howl as a calling to each other and the consensus was that spontaneity was key to it significance for our family. I howled across the lake for a dinner bell and was informed via text that the fish were biting and he would eat cold leftovers later.

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Julie Lythcott-Haims's avatar

It's always significant when we try to bring newcomers into our family rituals. Sounds like it went pretty well. And even though your howl was not returned literally, it served its purpose of trying to share information and achieve connection.

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