We Can't Fix the World Overnight, But We Can Feel Better, Together

Re-Launching My Zoom Coffee Hangouts

Drawing of my chair and firepit by @clariceapple

Hey, friend. As I write this, I’m sitting in an Adirondack chair next to my fire pit – a spot in my backyard where I do my best thinking, and one of the places in the world where I feel safest.

🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

As long as I’ve known myself, my spirit has said, help people. So, to cut to the chase, I’m bringing live Zoom hangouts back to Julie’s Pod. Because I think they’ll help.

I first did live Zoom hangouts early in the pandemic as a way to help myself cope with the forced isolation. In a feat of trust in my fellow humans (or naivete), I just put a Zoom link on my social media and hoped folks who needed it would show up. And they did. Miraculously, there were no trolls.

Each person shared who they were, and a little bit about how they were doing that particular day. And we traded tips – from the mundane, like how to handle groceries – to the intense, like how to deal with loved ones who were treating the pandemic differently than we were. I held a number of sessions in those long weeks of lockdown. In a time when humans had to be apart from each other for our own safety, the live Zooms made us feel like links in a chain who gained strength from the existence of each other.

After proving the concept in the early pandemic, when I created my Julie’s Pod newsletter community some years later I offered live Zoom hangouts as a perk for paid subscribers. I focused not just on giving each person a chance to share but on helping each person become a better listener through a methodology that I call “Present Listening.” In Present Listening, you simply thank people for sharing and repeat back what you heard. It sounds easy but it tends to be deceptively challenging for most, at least at first. That’s because when someone shares how they feel we listeners often default to offering advice, or reassurance, or to telling our own relatable tale. Despite our good intentions, this can leave the speaker feeling dismissed, ignored, judged, or that someone is trying to “fix” their situation. In contrast, Present Listening helps the speaker feel heard, supported, and believed in. It was the secret sauce of the live Zoom hangouts.

Testimonials from Live Zoom Hangout Participants:

To see and be seen is invaluable in today's society; to be heard and supported is the greatest gift of these chats. Julie has taught me the power of being present and listening. Much appreciation for the creation of this space! – M

Julie welcomes all to the Hangout with kindness, clarity, and high expectations. The guidelines for the group's time together establish solid safety for honest sharing. Sharing struggles shrinks them so I can succeed, and savor life more and more. – P

The hangouts with Julie offer a safe space to have deep conversations with wise, kind people. Julie does an amazing job facilitating these conversations, modeling and encouraging active listening and making space for people to be seen and accepted no matter what’s going on. – J

The Hangout is a highlight of my week! I go whenever I can and do so because the hangouts make me feel seen and loved. I feel a true sense of belonging, in a community where we all support each other… and are each valued for our selves. It's a special place ❤️ – K

Julie is a remarkable and intellectual counselor. She actively listened during our conversation and fostered a generous spirit among us. She truly embodies the essence of extraordinary counseling. – J

The Value of the Zoom Hangouts in TODAY’S World

The changes underway in American law, policy, and practice may leave you with fear, anxiety, isolation, and loneliness. And that’s on top of what might be happening in your personal life.

So, I want you to come to my Zoom hangouts where together we’ll co-create a safe space for each individual to both help themselves and simultaneously help others, too.

• You’ll experience the relief that comes from expressing how you’re really feeling.

• You’ll feel less alone and more connected to the most powerful elixir of all which is your fellow humans.

• You’ll get better at listening to others, which will positively impact our Zoom hangouts AND will help you improve your interpersonal relationships well beyond Julie’s Pod.

Actual chair and fire pit and Yard Pod and fence with words and me.

The Details

To try to spread the love and be respectful of time zone differences I’m opening my schedule a bit more and offering two Zoom hangout sessions weekly:

• Mondays at 12 noon Pacific Time

• Thursdays at 8:30 am Pacific Time

You can plan for an hour but we may go as long as 90 minutes. (You’re always welcome to leave whenever you need to.) Some people will attend regularly and some will attend on an as-available basis. Whatever works for you is great with me.

Last time, I offered a unique prompt for each session, to keep it interesting. But given the state of the world right now, at least for now the prompt will always be: “What do you want us to know about what’s going on for you, today?” The prompt is deliberately wide open so that you can bring whatever you need to into this space.

Each participant will have an equal amount of time to share, and everyone will have the chance to practice the “Present Listening” technique I described earlier. As I said, it sounds simple, but it’s not. In fact some people find it very hard, and frankly some are just not ready for it. But everyone who sticks with it says it’s worth the work.

To participate in the live Zoom hangouts, you just need to be a paid subscriber to Julie’s Pod. The cost to subscribe is $5 month or $50 annually (a 15% discount).

If you think about it, that’s the equivalent of one cup of coffee monthly. So how bout it? In addition to invitations to the Zoom hangouts, paid subscribers will also get premium written content such as early access to my next parenting book with the opportunity to help me shape the content. And a set of Julie’s Pod stickers for your laptop or water bottle. I don’t want you to miss out – upgrade your subscription at this link!

Let’s DO this. We’re so much more capable together!

xo

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