They Should Stop Being So Mean To Me! And Other Delusions I've Had This Week.
Notes from the campaign trail.
I have a confession. As a writer and public speaker I'm frequently quoted in the media, and I tend to get a little frustrated when my name is spelled wrong. I’m like, Come on people, how hard is it to get this right? L-Y-T-H-C-O-T-T-HYPHEN-H-A-I-M-S. Ok fine, it's long and convoluted. But he was worth it. 😊
Now I'm a candidate for local office in my city. Before running, I was warned that you have to have a thick skin. Through this process, I've come to realize that a misspelled name is a petty concern. That the larger problem – or question, actually – is what to do when they criticize your intentions, mind, or heart.
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It’s last week, and a local paper is interviewing me for their city council endorsement process. For close to an hour, the Editor-in-Chief and I have an intellectually stimulating conversation over a wide range of topics. When we’re wrapping up, he says he feels like we could talk for hours. I tell him I agree. It's a pleasant discovery for us both, I surmise, given that he has different political leanings than me.
When he asked about my views on protecting the environment, I'd said that over time we need to reduce our use of fossil fuels to zero, including natural gas. He asked a follow-up question about whether we should put that decision to the voters. “No,” I replied. "I don't think voters should get to decide on whether we're going to listen to scientists about saving the planet."
After the interview, one of his journalists writes an article for the paper about my candidacy. I am very pleased with it. But my opinion on fossil fuels causes some readers to get upset. My eighty-three-year-old mother is the first to tell me. She texts, "There are 2 angry letters that you probably want to see." Want to? Not really, but of course, yes, I should probably read them. And now, so can you:
I stand with science and scientists.
I stand by what I said about ending fossil fuel use in our city.
There's a lot of anger in these messages, and anger is based on fear. Maybe that's my way in with such folks.
At least they spelled my name right?
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It wasn't all bad. The next day a resident wrote a response – not defending me mind you, but defending science and the planet, which is what matters most. I'm paraphrasing here, but it boiled down to “I don't support Lythcott-Haims, but scientists ARE telling us that fossil fuels are warming the planet to a scary degree.” I clapped with delight when I read that one!
And, more good news. Today another local paper ran an article summarizing why I’m running and what I’ll fight for. You can read that here. As with the first article, I'm really pleased by how they chose to portray me. Here's the central quote.
Yet, as with the first article, it's quite likely to cause an uproar in some circles.
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I've never been known for my thick skin. In fact, in some places my skin is so thin that you can see my bleeding liberal heart. But through this process of putting myself out there to stand up for the people and issues that need an advocate, I'm learning when I need to defend, clarify, and yes, sometimes, even pivot, versus when it's best to just let it go. I'm guided by the desire to to stay open-minded and open-hearted without letting either of those organs get pierced by darts. I'm realizing that by choosing to be open about it, the initial sting I felt upon first reading it goes away.
Somewhere in there may be a lesson for all of us.
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🤓 If you want to read more examples of me opening up and being vulnerable about interactions with other humans, check out this piece on being judged for behaviors that led to me getting COVID, this piece on critiques of how I responded to the war in Ukraine, and this piece on how I handled an interaction with a troubling stranger on a plane .
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🧐 If you're interested in my work more broadly, check out my website and everywhere that social media happens I'm @jlythcotthaims.
💪🏽 I'm running for Palo Alto City Council to help people in my city better understand each other, among other priorities. Check out our campaign here.
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*Disclaimer: I am not a physician, psychologist, or counselor, nor am I licensed to offer therapy or medical advice of any kind. What you get from me is a fellow human with a lot of thoughts and opinions based solely on my lived experience. If you are having an emergency or are in crisis I want you to get the help you need. Please call 988 or the National Suicide Prevention Line (800-273-8255) or text the Crisis Text Line at 741741.
🙏🏽 Let it be said: I am rooting for all of us to make it!
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