The Day the Melting Pot Became White Replacement Theory
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It's last Saturday.
Within hours of the Buffalo massacre, I find myself wandering around my house in California feeling lost and helpless. I know people are hurting. I know people want to connect with other humans.
I put a Zoom link on social media which I describe as a way to be in community to process what has happened. People come. Some voice their gratitude and some put it in the chat. Then a different set of people come. One woman licks her lips as she slowly opens a pickle jar. Someone else starts shouting expletives. A young adult male sits behind a fuzzy screen and asks if I opened this space so as to lure children. All the while, a person is typing in the chat things like, "I live in Buffalo. I'm scared. I can't leave my house. Thank you for doing this." I continue to kick out the bad actors while reiterating what the space is for and offering compassion to those who are hurting. The shit continues to swirl though, so after ten minutes I end it with a sigh of defeat.
I wander around my house some more. I feel embarrassed, perhaps even a little sick. (I can't get the voice of the guy accusing me of trying to lure children out of my mind.) I find Dan. I say, "I mean I knew this could happen, but am I just naive?" He replies, "It isn't about the trolls. You were holding space for those who needed it, sending out love and energy not knowing where it would land but knowing that the sending is what's important."
As the hours pass I observe post after post on social media showing the Buffalo murderer being escorted peacefully by police, which is how it always seems to go down with White mass murderers and White supremacists in particular, which leads to the inescapable contrast with how many unarmed Black people end up dead at the hands of police.
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It's Sunday. Just when I think things can't get any more awful, or nuts, I learn that the Buffalo murderer adheres to a thing called "White Replacement Theory."
WHAT?
That night, I am somewhere where I can't help but overhear a clip of Tucker Carlson explaining it. I hear him say that "legacy Americans" are under threat from immigrants being brought here by Democrats. For days, Carlson's term "legacy Americans" blares in my brain like the sound of a car alarm with no one around to shut it off. (We all know that "legacy Americans" is a synonym for "real Americans" which is another word for "white Americans.") I can't believe this is 2022 and we're still dealing with this.
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Language, people. We need to be much better at calling it what it is. We need to get better at devising and wielding our language.
Don't let them say "legacy Americans" and get away with it. Be there to ask "Wait, who's the legacy here, Kemo Sabe?" (A derivation of the phrase "Who's we, Kemo Sabe?" famously uttered by the fictional Native American character Tonto when his white cowboy friend The Lone Ranger said "looks like we're in trouble" when the pair were surrounded by Native Americans.)
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It's Monday. I do a Facebook live, which I do on most Mondays, and this time I open by expressing sorrow for the Buffalo massacre which took place only 48 hours earlier. Hours later, a viewer writes, "This lady is a race baiter." I reply: "Wait. How does speaking about a horrific race-based murder spree in Buffalo make ME the race baiter?" Another writes, "You don't care about black on black crime." I reply that: 1) I am concerned about all murders regardless of who perpetrates them; 2) that "black on black crime" happens as much as "white on white crime" and that that's because people tend to kill as an act of anger and passion directed toward those with whom they live and work; and, 3) that as atrocious as any murder is, I am most concerned about a premeditated, planned attempt to hunt down and kill a bunch of strangers solely because their identity is different than yours, as appears to have been the case with the Buffalo massacre.
For some reason, while in my heart I want to tell these people that if they could just maybe preface their remarks with "The shooting in Buffalo was horrific and I'm so sorry for all those impacted" before going on to share their perspective, it would help. But I don't. Maybe I need to start doing that. Because maybe that's the way into the heart of another human – rather than having a shots-across-the-bow shouting match.
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Look.
Demographers have been saying for decades that as soon as 2040 and most certainly by 2050 America will be majority non-white (i.e. majority minority). (Read an interesting data-driven summary by Axios of what the 2040s will look like, here. Read attitudes about that change as reported by Pew Research, here.) This is not a function of nefarious liberals importing brown people from the far reaches of the earth, it's a function of birth rates right here at home.
It's happening. It's inevitable. It's like they're afraid of what could happen when they're in the minority. As some famous person once said, "They're lucky we just want equality not revenge."
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As I write this to you, the Boston-based public radio station GBH reports that neo-Nazism is on the rise in Massachusetts. Boston has always had its issues. I can tell you that it was no picnic there when I lived there in the early 1990s. But now, apparently, it's worse.
Some people think it's perfectly fun and acceptable to bomb a Zoom that was deliberately setup to console people who are hurting. As much as I find that behavior abhorrent, it also makes me wonder What's so wrong in our society such that people have nothing better to do than that?
We need to focus on living together in harmony regardless of the changes in demographics. We need to help people feel less afraid of each other. We need to be warriors for love, peace, and understanding.
Maybe you think I am naive. Do you have a better suggestion?
As always, I'm interested in your thoughts.
How are you feeling in response to the massacre in Buffalo?
What do you make of White Replacement Theory?
What are the small and big things you can do to combat white supremacy?
What are the small and big things you can do to inculcate acceptance of all?
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🧐 If you missed last week's post about how parents can improve kids' mental health by taking a pledge to change our behaviors, you can read that here. Other popular posts in Julie's Pod include one on the day COVID got me which is here, on the trauma and tragedy of youth suicide which is here, and the role parents can play in turning normal childhood fears into outright anxieties which is here.
😭 As it happens, as I'm writing this for you today it is the birthday of Michael Brown, the unarmed Black teenager from Ferguson, Missouri who was shot twelve times and left dead on the street by police and whose killer was never prosecuted. He would have been 26 today.
📑 If you want to learn more about White Replacement Theory, check out this informative link from the Southern Poverty Law Center.
🙊 As for being better at controlling and wielding language, although this may seem off topic, I suggest you also don't let them call themselves "pro life" if their actions and votes don't support a deep and abiding interest in the quality of life for living, breathing humans. Say to them, "Oh really? Don't you mean "Pro embryo/fetus" or "Pro a woman's purpose is a pregnancy?" or even "Okay so where do you stand on infant formula or health care for all pregnant women and all children?"
👋🏽 If you're interested in learning more about me and my work, please follow me @jlythcotthaims on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and/or TikTok and check out my website.
📸 Cover Photo Credit: Getty Images/LWA/Dan Tardif
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