The Day I Said Fuck It And Ran
My quest to love America again by running for local office.
Picture me for a moment.
I'm a middle-aged American Black woman who is pissed off, scared, and frankly, just DONE with America, thanks to a deteriorating sense of safety and belonging that I've felt here in the U.S. since 2008, when Barack Obama was elected president and the republicans began to set the country on fire.
Remember back in 2020, as November turned to December and millions of republicans continued to believe the lie that Trump won the 2020 election, and then December turned to January? Well one night in the first few days of January, at like two in the morning, I woke from deep sleep gasping for air, my bones trembling with the news that something is going to happen. Three days later came the insurrection. To see shit coming is a scary thing.
As you'll then recall – and I apologize if I'm triggering you, but hey this is where we are – the integrity of our elections was called into question thanks to the narrative of the big lie. The country lurched toward tyranny. Local and state officials used the big lie to fuel their rationale for subverting access to the ballot box for subsequent elections. Discriminatory laws that we thought we'd gotten rid of during the Civil Rights Movement (remember that?) were resurrected like the White Walkers from Game of Thrones.
Outside of politics (but hey, it's all politics), school boards in various red communities banned books. Teachers were threatened for teaching the full truth of American history, such as the colonizer's genocide of Native Americans, and their enslavement and debasement of Africans. Teachers who wanted to discuss gender and sexuality in the classroom were told to do so at their peril.
Meanwhile our Supreme Court, stacked to the hilt with right wingers appointed by Trump, stripped privacy and bodily autonomy rights away with an opinion (Dobbs) that took its rational from the 19th century. The Handmaid's Tale on Hulu came to feel like required viewing if you want to try to get your bones ready to withstand what could happen next.
And let's not forget that in any given week, Americans get shot dead simply while pursuing life, liberty and happiness: Black folk in Buffalo getting groceries. Young kids in Uvalde attending school. Neighbors in Highland Park at a Fourth of July parade.
And finally, the omnipresent threat of the climate, the ultimate winner in an ominous game of poker: I'll see your industrial era, and I'll raise you infinite catastrophe.
With all of this shit going down, I will confess to you (as I have confessed to you before) that on a pretty regular basis over these last many years, I've thought about packing up and leaving it all behind for a home somewhere else, anyplace but here, to procure a greater feeling of safety, perhaps even a feeling of ease for me and my family again. I've been that person who Googled how to become a citizen of another country. I've estimated how much money it’ll take to leave and establish our family elsewhere. In dark moments of dread, I've begun to wonder about when.
But then something changed.
Two months ago, early June 2022, on a Sunday morning, I opened the New York Times to the business section. This photo was splashed across the front page:
Susan Kirsch of Mill Valley, CA
The woman pictured is Susan Kirsch, a single-family-home-owner in a lovely Northern California community just north of the Golden Gate Bridge, called Mill Valley. In the piece, Susan brags that she’s kept a small condo development out of her town for eighteen years. The condos would have brought much needed higher-density housing (i.e. cheaper, generally) to the community, and would include some below-market rate units (i.e. for low-income people). Eighteen years of people less wealthy than Susan not having housing. Damn.
Near the conclusion of the article, the journalist informs us that, "People usually get involved in local politics for a distinct reason — they are angry at their school board, for instance, or worried about a condo complex at the end of their street — but they stay involved because they make friends and derive purpose from the work. It becomes something to do."
I'm reading this and I see myself in it. Cuz like Susan, I've also been really worried about a housing complex at the end of my street. But I was on the other side of the issue. Ten years ago, my community fought for an affordable senior housing project to go up. And we lost to the Susans.
Susan explained to the journalist why she needed to keep those condos, and the people who would live in them, out: “I suppose it is just that feeling of home,” she said. “Just that feeling of home and the safety and security and groundedness that goes with having a safe place to go to at the end of the day, where you can believe you can have security, you don’t need to worry about how are you going to have money for both food and insurance and dental care for your kids and all of those things, that metaphor of home as a place of comfort.”
I believe in everything Susan just said. On a planet with a warming climate and a growing population and widening income inequality, people need, and dare I say deserve that very safety and security and groundedness that Susan speaks of. The difference between me and Susan, though, is: I want it for everybody.
I closed the newspaper and opened an email to a friend: I'm running.
But maybe not in the way you might think?
_____
America is making many of us want to jump the wall to safety and pull up the ladder behind us. But I’m resisting that temptation. Precisely because someone like me could leave is the reason we shouldn't.
Susan Kirsch made me realize that the America I love is under assault. And that the local level, city by city, town by town, is where we rebuild a nation based on values of inclusion with an eye toward all of us making it. I've realized that in this moment of dread, fury, and fear, the best thing for me to do - for my community, my country, and yes for me, too - is to stay put right here on my cul-de-sac in Palo Alto.
So, drumroll please 🥁 .....🥁 .....🥁 .....🥁 .....🥁 .....
I'm running for one of three open seats on the Palo Alto City Council. You can read all about my campaign here. You already know that my main priority is more housing for humans at all income levels. Three other issues I'm focusing on are: youth mental health; urgent climate action; and belonging for all. I also want to explore making Palo Alto a human rights sanctuary city for those fleeing draconian laws in other states. I would appreciate your support!
I chose a purple logo because purple is the border between red and blue. I truly believe we can find common ground in common values. I'm counting on it to be true. Purple is also the color of queerness, and I am queer, so there you go. These purple Converse sneakers are my new running gear (for walking neighborhoods, actually)!
As for what made me do this now, while I'm pinning it all on Susan Kirsch and people like her, I'd be remiss if I didn't also mention a guy named Maverick who also helped me recover a sense that I still have some fire left in me. You can read about him and me and that here.
Six other people are running. I take nothing for granted. Win or lose, in these past couple of months, I've realized that life – living – isn't about running away or hiding. Life and living are about staying and fighting not just for yourself, but for everyone you care about and everything you believe in. So, win or lose, I'm living again. And I'm already enjoying being a learner: listening, being humble and curious, all in furtherance of growing. I hope to learn and grow until I draw my last breath, y'all!
_____
Where are you on the continuum from freaked out to fed up to effin' doing something that gives you a sense of purpose? I'd love to hear about it in the comments. Maybe my decision will fire you up in whatever way is meaningful to you.
🏚You've been in Julie's Pod, an online community of over 11,000 subscribers. If you aren't already one of them, well what are you waiting for 🤣 Sign up. (It's free!) You can take care of that here. Julie's Pod is made up of folks who know that by opening up and getting vulnerable about what's up with us, we grow and help others do the same. The community has grown because readers like you simply share a post with a friend. So, if you know someone who should read this post, please share it by clicking here.
📝 If you left a comment on any post before today, whether here or on social media, I've probably responded, and I always appreciate what you have to say even if I may feel differently. Please feel welcome to join the conversation. I want you to. We need to get MUCH better at being cordial and thoughtful in response to what other people have to say, while also articulating our own truths. This is a good place to practice.
☎️ For those who can't comment publicly, no worries. I've set up the hotline 1-877-HI-JULIE where you can leave an anonymous voicemail to let me know what's on your mind. I respond to these calls most Mondays live on my Facebook page at noon Pacific Time (while keeping the caller's identity private).
🪢 I root for humans to thrive. I always have. In keeping true to this mission, I’ve partnered with TED to design an affordable virtual course to help you live your best adult life, which you can find out about here. Meanwhile, I’m also deeply concerned about what’s happening more broadly in America. We know that change at the local level is everything. So as I give young adults advice about leaning into their own lives through my TED course, I realize I also need to lean into my purpose and do my part to make things better. That’s why I’m running for Palo Alto City Council. One of my Black ancestors, Joshua Eden Wilson, ran for Congress from South Carolina during Reconstruction. So this is not just in my bones, it's in my blood. Learn more about our campaign, and how you can be involved, here.
🎁 If you've read this far, you are definitely entitled to a free "Julie's Pod" sticker for your laptop, phone, or water bottle courtesy of me and the U.S. Postal Service. Just DM me your snail mail address (or if you don't know how to DM a person, just email me@lythcott-haims.com). I promise to toss your snail mail address in the trash as soon as I pop the sticker in the mail to you!
👋🏽 If you're interested in learning more about me and my work, please follow me @jlythcotthaims on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and/or TikTok and check out my website.
📸 Cover Photo Credit: Me In My Living Room, With My Feet On the Dining Table!
@ 2022 Love Over Time LLC All Rights Reserved