How Is Your Relationship With Your Adult Child Impacting Your Mental Health?

They’re your child. You’re their parent. Those truths never change.

But your relationship CAN AND MAYBE SHOULD change through the years. And as parents, if we don’t navigate that change well, it can lead to hurt feelings and frustration, on either party’s part, which, if unresolved, can lead to debilitating tension and even estrangement.

Can I tell you that everything I got wrong with my mother I hope to rectify with my kids. What a tall order. Cuz I have a bagful of regrets about what I got wrong with my mom. Yet it gives me JOY to plow those lessons learned the hard way not only into my relationships with my kids, but into a BOOK for everyone else.

That’s right. My next book is called THE BONUS YEARS. And it’s for parents and adult children who are living together, whether by choice or circumstance. The title implies that living together is a positive thing – and it certainly can be. But I know from having lived it first-hand, as both the adult child living with my parent, and as the parent of adult children, that many of us have to WORK HARD at it in order for it to be a positive emotional experience (on top of whatever tangible benefits living together implicitly provides). I’m writing THE BONUS YEARS because I truly believe we can all get good at doing this important work. Believe me, if I can, then so can you!

If you can relate – if you need help with parents and adult children living together or you have advice to offer – please join me in conversation. Reply in the Comments section below with a glimpse of your experience with the topic. And to go much deeper, to share YOUR thoughts in a way that may end up helping me write a better book, please sign up for one of three Zoom calls I’m hosting next week where we’ll converse intimately on the subject. (May 13, 14, and 17)

Oh and…

In this month of May, which is Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to acknowledge that our family relationships can impact our mental health – for better but also for worse. The above image is something I grabbed from tinybuddha.com (featuring a quote from Hazel Satija). It really speaks to me when it comes to parents and adult children, because while we can probably all agree with the premise of this post – that it’s important to treat each other with basic human kindness and respect – I think it’s essential to interrogate what does that actually mean (look like & feel like) in practice in this familly? If you like this image, please copy it and share it; be sure to attribute the sources as TinyBudda/Hazel Satija, not me – I’m just the pass-through!

And with that I’ll sign off, for now. Be sure to comment below with your thoughts on the topics that arise when parents and adult children live together, and sign up for one of next week’s Zoom conversations (May 13, 14, and 17). (Note, the Zoom calls and comment section are opportunities for paid subscribers. It costs five bucks a month to unlock this content, which is like enjoying one great cup of coffee monthly with yours truly.)

xo

YES, sign me up for a Zoom convo on parents and adult children living together. I have questions! I have advice! I just want to lurk and see what others have to say!