Dear Julie: How Do I Raise My Twentysomething?

Navigating a New Phase of Parenting

As a parent of two amazing twentysomethings, I’m deeply interested in this new phase of parenting – which frankly most of us parents were not prepared for, because in the old days (i.e. when we were young), kids were “up and out” by twenty-one if not eighteen.

You don’t need me to tell you that things have changed. But maybe you ARE looking for me to give you some advice. So I’m considering writing a book on the subject. For now, I’m just super curious about what parents of twentysomethings want answers to. Here are some of the questions I’ve heard lately.

1. How should I respond if my child doesn’t seem to think of me on Mother’s Day or my birthday?

2. How do I parent a twenty-two-year old boy who works, lives at home, and still needs parents for support?

3. Boundaries.

4. My twenty-six-year-old son and his longtime girlfriend broke up. He is very sad.

5. How do we turn back time!

You’ve got questions? I’ve got answers. Or if not answers than at least thoughts. Oh, and I brought in a special guest to help me out with some of these questions – My twenty-four-year-old son, Sawyer.

QUESTION ONE: How should I respond if my child doesn’t seem to think of me on Mother’s Day or my birthday?

My god, I feel the emotional heft of that. Like How could this be happening? Why are they mistreating me? What’s going on? And I just want to say that, actually, I’ve been there…