Are You in the Quicksand of Loneliness?
4 Ways to Get Rescued
I’m fairly surprised at myself.
Once an extrovert who loved nothing more than a gathering of people, nowadays I’d just rather spend my free time streaming Parks and Rec with my partner and our adult son, or being completely alone by my fire-pit watching Survivor.
Searching my spirit for what’s up, I realize that what I know for sure is that I’m 100% safe right here with ME. (Draws a box around her face and torso with her fingers.) I mean, humans can be a lot. Or you just never know. Why chance it? 🤷🏽♀️
I’m not the only person isolating themselves. Our former Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy wrote this report in 2023 which sounded the alarm that Americans are experiencing an epidemic of loneliness and isolation. I assume that each of us has different reasons for it, yet we’re all responding to SOMETHING or to a lack of something. 🤷🏽♀️
So I’m pleased to report that over the last seven days, that SOMETHING in me has started to shift. Maybe it’s the chaos and fear being deliberately sowed by the Republican Administration that’s making me come out of my shell to seek fellow humans. I dunno. But something changed such that I said YES to three very different very casual offers to join up with others for something. It’s a start.
Mind you, I didn’t necessarily even want to say yes to any of these things, because I really do enjoy my isolation 😬. But as I observed myself starting to say no to these offers, I realized that loneliness is a kind of quicksand. And I know from all that I know that human interaction is the only thing that will pull us out.
Since I just (*might kinda*) be on the road to recovery, I want to pass along some advice to you:
Tips for Getting Out of the Quicksand of Loneliness
Accept an offer for human interaction: It could be coffee, a visit, a gathering, an activity. Be like me this week – SAY YES, AND DON’T BAIL. (Phone calls work too but in-person is 1000% better.)
Give an offer of human interaction: You know that person with whom you keep saying, “We should get together”? Well, it’s time to make a plan to do something with them this coming week. Keep it casual. Make it a low lift. But PLAN IT, AND DON’T BAIL.
Go for the IRL hug. I kid you not, humans actually need not just interaction but touch (safe/consensual) in order to be well. That hug you share might be the only hug your person gets today, or this whole week! (If you’re not sure if your person is a hugger, ask first.)
Even virtual hugs help somewhat. I offered you a virtual hug in my last newsletter, and a person emailed me back with such gratitude for it because she lives with people who simply don’t seem to want to hug. (She only realized this about them when reading my piece – yay Julie’s Pod!)
This bears repeating: DON’T BAIL. Show yourself you can make a commitment and keep it. Your self wants to know that in all this chaos, the commitments you make to yourself can be trusted.
xo
🤗 You can do it. I’m rooting for you.
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that was totally lovely. i felt your hug and i hope im consensually platonically hugging you. going thru similar things, not really sharing your dread about the current admin, but can appreciate the feeling, and hope that we can keep moving forward with good will and positive solutions -
you have a nice touch connecting thru your writing